Theme from "The Woman with Seven Demons": lyric

She said, "I was a girl of easy virtue
I found my way in hidden doors
with no keys I needed passwords
slipping through the cracks in floors
and can I really change?
and how long will it last?
and can I find salvation
before my die is cast?"

I told her I had plenty of faults of my own
after all, we're only flesh and bone;
she said, "That makes no difference to me
my pain goes down and hard like a crushing sea
and can I really change?
and how long will it last?
and can I find salvation
before my die is cast?
I've been wayward in my walk
and I haven't talked the talk
I've played the game but by my own rules
and now I see that I'm a fool
and can I really change?
and how long will it last?
and can I reach salvation
before my die is cast?"

She told me to imagine that I was her shoes
I guess I wasn't listening or I was confused
If I had it, I'd give her the world
but all I have is just this word:
"Yes.
Forever and a day:
for us always onwards following the way:
come on home to me, darling, let me hold your troubled head
let your tears flow down like rivers
let my sweet breath be your bread."

"And can I really change?
How long will it last?
Will I reach salvation
before my die is cast?"

"Yes, my darling, yes!
Forever and a day.
For us always onwards following the way:
come on home to me, darling, let me hold your troubled head
let your tears flow down like rivers
let my sweet breath be your bread."

-- 10.x.07

Commentary:

Of this piece, my friend and colleague Gwyn McVay said with great anguish, "You took my line and gave it to a whore!" The line to which she refers was not precisely hers, although she drew my attention to it. It was produced by one of her students, who likely intended "imagine you were in my shoes", but actually wrote "imagine you were my shoe". Ms McVay may develop this line however she likes, and I hope that she will feel free to do so.

I was presented with the phrase "imagine you were my shoe" at about the same time I was working on developing a story "The Woman with Seven Demons", in which I consider pivotal events in the life of a woman who arcs through Catholic school into modelling for pornographers, and then becomes a porn photographer and web-site designer herself, and then abandons the business entirely. (I have since found some interesting real-life parallels, certainly not exact, in Nina Hartley and Sharon Mitchell, PhD: a shout out to C. Pacifico Silano for providing me with the initial reference directing me to Hartley and Mitchell.)

I had begun and then abandoned storyboards for a film version, but as I was toying with what came out as this song, I thought that it might be fun to move through the action of the proposed film with songs. (I have since watched Lars Von Trier's Breaking the Waves; thanks to David Spolum for that suggestion. Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose. There is nothing new under the sun, but of the making of short stories and films there may be no end, even if the subject matter may start to stale a bit.)

While I talk influences here, I must say, too, that I was revisiting Brian Eno's songwriting again, and getting a big kick out of his Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy). Like several others, I've fantasized of remaking that album, but it's so brilliant just as it is, I hate to mess with it. Still, I learned "Burning Airlines Give You So Much More" and "The Fat Lady of Limbourg", and it was especially the latter that I had in mind with the apparent non-sequitors which build into a new structure of meaning in combination one with another.

For those curious about the song-writing and song-performance process, the original of this poem was essentially what is found above (as I've explained in earlier posts, I rarely rework a piece extensively -- "Wayworn", amusingly, was more heavily worked over than most); I struggled with the wording of the third line of the first refrain ("can I find" versus "can I reach" versus "will I reach" -- in the end I just used them all). "My sweet breath" in the second refrain was originally "the sweet breath", but that seemed too impersonal and was almost instantly amended. "I've played the game in my own way" has been changed to "I've played the game but by my own rules", which is sure enough cliche, but that's lyric poetry for you.

Other than those relatively minor changes, the only alteration was to the order of the verses. Verse four was originally verse two, verse two verse three, and verse three verse four: that's really a simple shift.